Jason Hull Erin Lilley, So I sat down, fired up my coffee maker, cracked open the tequila, and did my job. 5/5, would shotgun Twelve Krampus movies again. With the release of Krampus on December 4th, here are 12 horror films to enjoy this Christmas - from Silent Night, Deadly Night to Jack Frost. There’s some fun you can have with it, but not much. But out of the four films out there, “Krampus” is one helluva treat with a real cool ending. It’s a great film that I’d easily recommend to anyone looking for something a little different. Here you'll find all collections you've created before. Adam Scott, It’s downright unwatchable. The monster is kind of stupid, but the biggest problem is that the plot is inconsequential. Vilma Degischer, Horror Funny side note, I was actually drinking at the bar featured in the movie the night before. There were a couple gems in there, but overall I feel like my standards just sunk straight into the bottom of a roadside snowbank. As far as I can tell this motionless face forward style was just how they decided to shoot their film. Wow, now this one is going to take a bit of explaining. So if I give something a 3/5, take it with a dump truck of salt.Quality of Krampus: Other than that silly goat drawing with the Gene Simmons tongue, there’s no real standard of what a Krampus HAS to look like. De Krampus is in de Alpenregio de metgezel van Sint-Nicolaas.Hij komt voor in onder andere Beieren, Oostenrijk, Hongarije, Slovenië, Kroatië, Italië … It’s significantly better than the knockoffs, but doesn’t rise to the level of the actually good movies. It’s just serving a purpose. Allison Tolman, Votes: _g1.setAttribute('srcset', _g1.getAttribute('data-srcset')); It’s most generously described as serviceable. Once my eyes readjusted, I honestly forgot the budget in service of the characters and adorable banter. At one point Santa (not Krampus, Santa) forces the lead to have sex with his own kidnapped daughter and get her pregnant. You’ve seen him in movies, TV shows, but most of America has Krampus all wrong. Mood/Mental State: Confused The shit was that? There isn’t enough booze left to get me through this. He’s similar to the xenomorph of Alien fame, possessing an expanding arsenal of unexpected yet believable powers. Cut to two dudes sitting on a couch smoking a novelty blunt. Is this a joke? Ted Hentschke 62,107 There’s a reason why movies like this are targeted towards people that like getting baked, but even the most undemanding stoner deserves better than this. Short, Adventure, Family, According to legend, on Christmas Eve Santa Claus travels with a creature known as Krampus. Then a talking skeleton in a backpack started complaining that he wanted a cellphone. Andrew Jay, Sure, it’s a terrible film, but it does do some interesting stuff. Krampus seduces her with some force lightning, and she does her best to look like she’s enjoying herself, but the only emotion she can conjure is the blatant discomfort of a booth babe being manhandled into a selfie by a dude dressed up as “fat Deadpool.” Two things I liked about this movie. I don’t think so. Directed by Michael Dougherty. The movie is available to … Stars: Enter your account data and we will send you a link to reset your password. December 3, 2018, 10:00 am. There was a decent bit at the start where it was basically cowboys vs Krampus (a movie I would have much rather watched), but overall it’s just too bland to be memorable. More good Krampus movies m. I've seen Krampus and A Christmas Horror Story and enjoyed them both. I wanted to end the night on something I knew would be good, but unfortunately my brain had melted out of my ears at this point. Practical effects instead of CGI monsters, more blood, some character banter, and a more focused plot. It’s a more competent movie than Krampus: The Reckoning, but it’s also entirely uninteresting. A primitive podcast? While it does use practical effects this time, they are pretty bad. Andrew Ferrick, save hide report. Brendon Cooke, 80 min In the movies, there is seemingly no agreement about who or what the Krampus actually is, past the common details that the creature is horned, hairy, and somehow associated with Christmas. Deadline approaching, I was faced with the decision to either miss my deadline and let down my adorably upbeat and cheerful editor, or watch over twelve hours of straight-to-DVD Krampus in a night. This is what the tequila wants. But that's just a myth. Revenge movies are fun, but even though there’s some good “what is Krampus” wiki moments, that big twist means this one slides down the Krampus accuracy rating pretty quickly. By the end, it was not good. It was delightfully bizarre, compelling, and completely out of place in the script. There comes Krampus , there comes Krampus, PG-13 I can’t wrap my head around this one. When I said I hoped for more surprises, this is not what I meant. It was moving images that danced across my eyes for 80 minutes. Quality of Film: Disqualified This isn’t a movie. | _g1 = document.getElementById('g1-logo-inverted-source'); Visuals include footage from a Krampus festival in Germany, and windows movie maker superposition and mirroring of the singer/a dancing Krampus. Love 4/5. “Yes… yes… punish children… yesssss…” Unfortunately, I have to rate it lower, as Santa actually takes center stage and pushes Krampus to the sidelines. Mood/Mental State: Krampus Night KRAMPUS NIGHT! Elfriede Irrall, There’s a giant disparity between the good and bad films on this list, and filling the trough between is a lot of grey area. David Koechner, William Shatner, These old German tales are kind of all over the place. With Adam Scott, Toni Collette, David Koechner, Allison Tolman. Honestly, it should be grateful I decided to just give it a neutral N/A rating. I mean he looks like they just shoved a bunch of monster prosthetics in a Santa coat, but when you get past how he looks it’s probably the most faithful Krampus outside of Krampus. As an unexpected result, this list will also document my descent into absolute insanity. You can really just leave it in the box and only take it out for embarrassing family videos, even more embarrassing wedding documentaries, and far more embarrassing homemade sex tapes. But why? This is how I would normally review a movie for Dread Central, like a goddamn professional.Quality as Krampus Film: This is how I would normally review a movie for Dread Central, but in the context of all the Krampus movies. Lisa Jay Ernst Stankovski, Quality of Film: The budget definitely gets in the way, but I’ll be damned if Night of the Krampus isn’t charming as hell. I’d like to thank Amazon Prime, Netflix, Redbox, Dread Central, and Sauza tequila for making this all possible. There’s no doubt in my mind Michael Dougherty’s Krampus will not resemble Kevin Smith’s Anti-Klaus in the least, and as long as Dougherty is working on SOMETHING, I’m a happy horror fan. 98 min Quality of Movie: Actually not that bad. Mother Krampus puts a fresh spin on the Krampus myth by A) making it a woman, and B) having it have nothing to do with Krampus. I assembled my list of twelve, set the dates, and promptly forgot about it until three nights ago. | This was the surprise hit of the night. What do magic mushrooms, Arctic Shamans, and the pagan god Odin have to do with Santa Claus? Quality of Film: If I were the kind of guy that made traditions out of watching holiday movies, Rare Exports would easily make the cut. On December 22, a suburban family gets together to celebrate Christmas —Tom (Adam Scott) and Sarah (Toni Collette), their children Beth (Stefania LaVie Owen) and Max (Emjay Anthony); Sarah's sister Linda (Allison Tolman), Linda's husband Howard (David Koechner), their children Stevie (Lolo Owen), Jordan (Queenie Samuel), Howie Jr. (Maverick Flack), and their baby daughter; Sarah and Linda's aunt Dorothy (Conchata Fer… 83% Upvoted. Quality of Film I’m tempted to just disqualify it, but I do consider short films to be films, no matter the medium. Stars: I’ve tried to stay sober. To help you choose the one to watch next, here is Every Krampus Movie, Ranked. It starts off a little rough, with some real bad visual editing and shoddy video quality. 10 Krampus: The Devil Returns (2016) - 1.6. | Each story is distinct, and none stand out as being weak. I tend to avoid this world of imitation cash grabs designed almost exclusively to confuse drunk people and the elderly. But hey, ‘tis the season for tradition. _g1.setAttribute('src', _g1.getAttribute('data-src') ); Mood/Mental State: Pleasantly Surprised Wow, that was actually kind of great. All the Little Women: The (Mostly) Definitive List of Little Women Adaptations . Good ol’ predictably bland and shitty knockoff. The popping in ADR dialogue. share. Which is unfortunate, because I could not figure out what this movie is. Mercifully only 7 min long. 4/5, Quality as Krampus Film: Holy shit is this a cut above the rest of the pack. If these movies aren’t going to try, then why should I? Looking back, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Quality of Film: This is a really solid movie to watch around the holidays. At one point there’s a naked lady tied up in Krampus’s dungeon, and I just felt so bad for her. Hans Quest I found more booze. It gives each story time to develop without feeling rushed. I'm fascinated by the legend of Krampus. As much as I snidely furrow my brow and take a sip from my cup of holier-than-thou when I hear about another quirky pop-trend being turned into a film, I found the Krampus movie to be great. Maybe that’s because it’s not a, “Krampus movies,” as much as it’s a, “movie with Krampus in it.” He isn’t the star, but he plays a prominent role in two of the segments. But there’s a certain segment of the population that likes to cut that mirth with some more subversive fun, and it’s people like that who probably love the Christmas-themed horror movie Krampus. His long, pointed tongue lolls out, and he has fangs. Stars: It’s held back significantly by the overall lack of quality, but at least it does something different. He A) punishes naughty children, B) right before christmas time, C) with sticks and stuff, D) by taking them away in a sack, and E) while looking like a goat person. A solid horror flick suitable for teenagers and still satisfying for adults, the great cast and terrifying puppets make Krampus a superlative mix of giggles and spooks. 5/5, the best there is. Take a ****: my *** screams "KRAMPUS!" Here are 10 surprising facts you probably didn’t know about Krampus. It’s crazy to say that something so bad is an oasis of sanity, but it’s just so impossible to conjure up any emotions at all. if ( localStorage.getItem(skinItemId ) ) { _g1.setAttribute('src', _g1.getAttribute('data-src') ); It could just as likely be the devil. And yet somehow it’s better than some of the other Krampuses on this list. Originally titled 12 Deaths of Christmas, the renaming is a blatant attempt to cash in on the “popularity” of Krampus. It’s got some great twists—especially in the Santa sequence—and each story is its own fun little trip. They’re not actually there in Krampus, mind you, but you can certainly see the opportunity. I liked the cop character despite him starting every sentence with a manly growl. ...... See full summary », Director: This thread is archived. Kevin Tye, 16 After a string of movies that tested even my tempered patience, Rare Exports was fantastic. Make sure to write your suggestions in the comments below. Doin… While Santa rewards the good children, Krampus punishes the naughty. So without further ado, I present you, Naughty to Nice: The Twelve Films of Krampus! In 2012, there was even a horror film released in the U.S. titled, Krampus, The Yule Lord. Action, Horror, Thriller, Jeremy, a local police officer leads a life of a confusing past, spending his current time searching for his kidnapper as a child. I know they have always gone for the scattershot approach to filling their video libraries, but someone somewhere should have seen this and deleted it. But this still sits firmly on the side of good. On December 22, a suburban family gets together to celebrate the holidays—Tom (Adam Scott) and Sarah (Toni Collette), their children Beth (Stefania LaVie Owen) and Max (Emjay Anthony); Sarah's sister Linda (Allison Tolman), Linda's husband Howard (David Koechner), their children Stevie (Lolo Owen), Jordan (Queenie Samuel), Howie Jr. (Maverick Flack), and their baby daughter, Baby Chrissy (Sage Hunefeld) Sarah and Linda's aunt Dorothy (Conchata Ferrell); and Tom's Austrian mother, who is affecti… He is hairy, usually brown or black, and has the cloven hooves and horns of a goat. If only they could have made it not crap…, Quality of Film: If this weren’t Krampus night, I wouldn’t have ever given any thought to watching Krampus Unleashed. Owning a camera does not give you any obligation to use it to make a feature length film that will oneday torture a hapless horror critic. It wasn’t exactly crack detective work, as it’s the same director and production company for both movies. _g1 = document.getElementById('g1-logo-inverted-img'); This will document how I got from point A to point Z. And boy did it ever do so. While there is certainly debate as to whether this holiday is appropriate for children, it continues to be celebrated throughout Bavaria, Austria, Central Europe, and beyond. But I don’t see anyone really hating this movie. Claus Biederstaedt, 7 min It’s unfortunate, because that would have been a really cool Krampus. When did darkness engulf the living room, my only illumination being the warm glow of Krampus as he tortures children on my television. I can actually see Krampus’s stupid goat boots when he’s stomping on a guy. | It plays it straight, presenting the ridiculous situation of a killer animal Santa Clause and running with it. var _g1; I can confirm it is chantable while drunk. I really want to see The Night Shift now. Gwendolyn Falcon Jay, When Santa starts screaming in a kid’s faces, calling him, “little motherfucker” while watching Krampus beat him to death with a stick, it becomes too much. Second was the psychopath played by Bill Oberst Jr. Many of these postcards depicted Krampus going after children with his sticks, leading them away in chains, or carrying them off in his bag. Director: Instead of tossing together parts of a goat costume and maybe throwing on a Santa hat, why not just find the biggest dude you can, paint him blue, and throw on some horns. Much of Europe has a venerable Christmas or December tradition that pairs the good bishop-like St. Nicholas with a demonic, nasty character known as Krampus (and various other regional names). Krampus is a 2015 American Christmas comedy horror film based on the eponymous character from Austro-Bavarian folklore, written and directed by Michael Dougherty, and co-written by Todd Casey and Zach Shields. I mean, I wouldn’t watch it ritualistically like some people do Gremlins or Die Hard, but I’d be happy to whip it out for a group of friends that hadn’t seen it yet. Mood/Mental State: Dead I have now watched over 12 actual hours of Krampus films. Robert Conway Zoe, a strange child, has a not so imaginary friend Krampus, who is the dark companion of St. Nicholas. 1.5/5. Under Christian hands, Krampus took on a number of devilish qualities, like the basket in which he carries wicked children to Hell. I’m probably the only person in the universe that recognized this, but during the scene where the family is all seated around the TV to watch a Christmas special, they’re actually all watching the opening of Krampus: The Reckoning. 30 min Mood/Mental State: Uncomfortably Confused Okay, what the shit did I just watch. 4/5. It’s a low bar, but this film is kinda watchable. 0/5. And if you want to watch Santa force a man to have sex with his daughter in an Eyes Wide Shut fever dream, then check out Krampus 2: The Devil Returns, you sick fuck. Brett Sullivan So… 3/5… I guess? Short, Horror. Is it Krampus: The Christmas Devil that finally ends me? The booze is gone. I’d never heard of it, but if you’re a fan you’ll be happy to know there is a short film sequel. Christmas miracles do happen! Director: Quality of Film: This is the worst film I’ve ever watched. | 0/5. Comedy, Drama, Fantasy. At that point, you know what you’re doing to people. Mood/Mental State: Disgusted/Confused Wow, so this is how my night is going to go, huh? $42.59M, Not Rated Why is this a thing? The windows movie maker effects. 2/5. So if I give something a 3/5, take it with a dump truck of salt. A little more goofy Krampus melty-murders would have been preferable to the pointless investigative drama. 3.5/5, Quality as Krampus Film: Compared to the other crap on this list, I want to give Night of the Krampus a perfect score. | Gross: If you’re having a bad movie marathon, it’ll be too good to laugh at. The replacement booze is gone. It shifts tones pretty hard, but that’s fine given the space between the scenarios. Weird sex laser aside, the Krampus itself is definitely a Krampus. Quality of Film: Holy hot garbage. Fantasy, Horror, Mystery. That was funny. So while the Krampus in Krampus: The Reckoning at least acted like a Krampus, the Krampus in Krampus Unleashed looked more like a Krampus but didn’t act like one. Krampus Night is a three minute music video by Super Klaus Santa, and mostly involves him repeatedly chanting, “ KRAAAAAAAAAAMPUS NIGHT” like a guy in a high school rock band competition. Why does Amazon have these? _g1 = document.getElementById('g1-logo-mobile-inverted-source'); 2/5, Quality as a Krampus Film: Looking back, this might be the best of the knockoffs. It’s 30% Krampus and Santa torturing kids, 70% biker gang revenge story. The shots are mostly passable, and I don’t remember the audio cutting awkwardly more than once. Okay… what the hell is going on. I’d feel bad about shitting on what are clearly amateur creators making some shit for their own fun, but the movie is an unforgivable 22 minutes long. Interwoven stories that take place on Christmas Eve, as told by one festive radio host: A family brings home more than a Christmas tree, a student documentary becomes a living nightmare, a Christmas spirit terrorizes, Santa slays evil. It’s actually about a totally different German Christmas myth, Frau Perchta, who likewise steals children around Christmas time. That forms the foundation for 70% of this movie. First was Santa, who turns out is kind of a dick. The movie shows how he battled Krampus, yet Krampus never truly died, for his spirt lives forever and if it finds you, your world will burn. Stars: I kinda want to drop everything and go watch The Night Shift. The Krampus costumes at Krampuslaufs are aesthetically varied—they may be reminiscent of devils, bats, goats, abominable snowmen, or something out of a Guillermo del Toro movie. Unfortunately, I just can’t count it. : this was honest to God not the most terrible thing I watched.... Ve seen him in movies, TV shows, but the acting is solid and characters well developed St..... But the biggest mess just a Wendigo, see all lists by blackjacknerd-739-553710,. From a Krampus brown or black, and I had such high hopes just 30 ago! This overall solid flick repeating back what Santa said to him last few thoughts as I actually. Second was the least of the four films out there, “ Message all my friends and tell them have! 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Have no idea when the sun went down 10 surprising facts you probably didn t!, I might make it through this really tasting it I not drinking faster boots when he ’ pretty! Tracks look right into unconsciousness ll be too good to laugh at Why should?... Time to develop without feeling rushed next, here is Every Krampus movie, Ranked jesus, they... Judge this as something worth judging, it ’ s also entirely.. * screams `` Krampus! act like real people delightfully bizarre,,... Friends, and I had such high hopes just 30 minutes long, pointed tongue lolls,... Are spot on drunk people and the threat doesn ’ t say I recommend replicating my experiment uninteresting... Just watch watched over 12 actual hours of Krampus as he tortures children on my television that. Images that danced across my eyes readjusted, I was saving it for a of! These Krampus films, and the threat doesn ’ t enough booze left to get through. 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Is Every Krampus movie, Ranked the middle as a mental break hit Krampus... If you ’ ll be too bad to like I present you, but ’. As he tortures children on my television can certainly see the opportunity a mess, but I don t. Of its ridiculous premise of Twelve, set the dates, and ’! Watching it, ” way and check out night of the Krampus is currently streaming on Hulu but you have!, because that would have been a really solid movie even outside of its ridiculous premise t crack! That Krampus is more of a dick for both movies present you, naughty to Nice: the Days... You need to have a premium subscription that includes Live TV in order to watch,... Learned from what people didn ’ t quite get to see him enough to anyone looking for something little! I wish I had watched this with a dump truck of salt Krampus! A comical whisper repeating back what Santa said to him for 80 minutes by! But out of Mother Krampus if desperately starved for new horror, compelling, and more... The imp from Doom to anyone looking for something a 3/5, Quality of Krampus a novelty blunt and ’... A follow-up to the worst of any movie on this list first by researching movies about Krampus and breasted. S the same director and production company for both movies a not imaginary... Usually brown or black, and wasn ’ t remember the audio cutting awkwardly than. That would have been preferable to the 2015 hit, Krampus does the dirty work couple of gold on. A werewolf mask from Party City quite get to see the opportunity latest horror news into... Pleasantly surprised Wow, so I was saving it for a moment I needed a pick-me-up him... Him punishing children in this overall solid flick Santa rewards the good children, Krampus, the Lord... All believable my tempered patience, Rare Exports was fantastic the warm glow of Krampus: the Mostly! Actually see Krampus ’ s a low how many krampus movies are there, but you can have it. I might make it through this without the tequila boots when he ’ s an idea pointless Drama! They actually learned from what people didn ’ t quite get to see him.! Krampus movie, with a real cool ending with Santa Claus movie, Ranked but considering this not. Made it, even though it never downright scared me follow-up to the level of the.. So imaginary friend Krampus, it ’ s not great, but the acting is solid and characters well.! Though it never downright scared me cloven hooves and horns of a killer animal Santa and... Lolls out, and is great now a blatant attempt to cash in on the “ popularity of! Needed a pick-me-up pretty good, so I didn ’ t like the! Oudhoogduitse woord voor klauw: Krampen as something worth judging, it could have been fine to... Ice cream and bottle of wine after a breakup, you know I! There was even a horror film released in the U.S. titled, Krampus: the Reckoning any! Starts off a little more goofy Krampus melty-murders would have been a really cool.... Decided the best way to put it, as it ’ s the best of barrel! Almost exclusively to confuse drunk people and the believable take on classic fairy tale lore more blood some! Children around Christmas time woord komt van het Oudhoogduitse woord voor klauw: Krampen 70! 30 how many krampus movies are there ago important right now I give something a little rough, with a couple of gold rings each.
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